I went to the store today in search of a pillow. I wake up every morning feeling like I have whiplash. I feel like a walking zombie. So my Mom and I packed up and went to Sam's in search of a pillow. A good pillow. I realize there are better places to go for a good pillow. I had to start somewhere. Word on the street is I am going to go through a dozen or more pillows before I find one worth a damn.
While at the store I almost ran into a woman on an Amigo. She startled me. When she whizzed around the corner and nearly ran into me, I looked at her and she said in a rather short tone "Excuse me!". I could feel hostility in her voice. I didn't give her any weird or judgmental looks, I didn't dwell on her. I simply said "Oh, sorry" and moved on. She was in defense mode before I could even launch an attack. She didn't know I wasn't judging her. She's been through this enough to be ready for anyone to judge her. She didn't know I have been where she was and may be there again. I wouldn't.
When I was pregnant for my son my kidneys flared up. I gained 80lbs of fluid. Funny how fluid looks like fat. Funny how people judge fat people. It was five days after a C-Section. I was so edematous I couldn't wear shoes. I needed clothes because I had been in a hospital for the last 7 weeks of my pregnancy and had none that fit me. People didn't know this. They didn't care. I was the fat woman in an Amigo. They looked at me and judged me. Not knowing my story. It cut me to the core. I acted fine at the store and cried all the way home. I didn't want to be sick and I didn't want to not be able to walk through the store.
I now find myself unable to tolerate "fat woman in an Amigo" stories. I also can't stand "they don't need to park in a handicap spot" stories. There are a lot of invisible illnesses that require people to take advantage of handicap amenities. To the people so quick to judge I ask: Do you know them and their condition? Did you need the spot/wheelchair/Amigo? Did it infringe on you in anyway? Is it any of your business? Why is it unless someone weighs 80lbs and is over 125 years old or has a cast up to their thigh do people feel the need to police others? I ask these questions knowing that people usually don't realize how harsh they can be. I've been that person long ago, before I knew what it was like to be the one in that scooter.
And to the sassy pants in the Amigo I say, go for it girl. I know why you did it.
Kohl's has decent pillows, too. The right pillow makes all the difference in the world. And they need to be replaced more often than we think. It's amazing how they get squished flat after a year or so.
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